<while running down the street> “I’m about to shit my pants. No…dude…that’s real talk. I ain’t about to shit my pants!”
wrong homeless guy
I guess perhaps only in Dubuque St. I tried to do something nice by buying lunch for a homeless guy.
This was at night time.
As I came back, he wasn’t at the same spot. He moved across the street. As I went up to him, I told him I hope this helps, He just shrugged and couldn’t mutter a thank you.
Just as I was leaving, I turned around, and saw the ORIGINAL homeless guy sitting back down on his place.
How the hell did I confuse one homeless guy for another?
In Burge Dining:
“I hate politics. Like… they try to tell you things you need to know. And I’m like… I know what I know, and you can’t tell me otherwise. You know?”
“Iowa has so many Chinese students that like, so, like, when we go to war with China, I can be like, I KNOW HIM DUDE DON’T KILL ME.”
Sorostitute: “Oh. Oh. So what you’re saying is that you don’t want to spend any time with me?”
Bro: “YES.”
“No. I have a serious question. It’s serious. What would you say if I told you I hooked up with your sister?”
“I’d say you were a douche.”
“OK. I did not hook up with your sister.”
(Two girls on the sidewalk)
Girl 1: I really need to puke.
Girl 2: Just puke here and c’mon! We’re late!