“Iowa has so many Chinese students that like, so, like, when we go to war with China, I can be like, I KNOW HIM DUDE DON’T KILL ME.”
Sorostitute: “Oh. Oh. So what you’re saying is that you don’t want to spend any time with me?”
Bro: “YES.”
“No. I have a serious question. It’s serious. What would you say if I told you I hooked up with your sister?”
“I’d say you were a douche.”
“OK. I did not hook up with your sister.”
(Two girls on the sidewalk)
Girl 1: I really need to puke.
Girl 2: Just puke here and c’mon! We’re late!
There are so many up and down stairs I feel like I’m on Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting range. #overheardondubuquestreet
“Ummm…I’m not sure. I know there’s a club called The Library.”
“No, I’m looking for the actual library.”
“God, why is it that the two guys I’ve been with in my college career have cried on my shoulder more time than I’ve cried on theirs? OVER IT!” #overheardondubuquestreet