<while running down the street> “I’m about to shit my pants. No…dude…that’s real talk. I ain’t about to shit my pants!”
Overheard at an Iowa City Starbucks...
A heated argument over whether September has 30 or 31 days.
wrong homeless guy
I guess perhaps only in Dubuque St. I tried to do something nice by buying lunch for a homeless guy. This was at night time. As I came back, he wasn’t at the same spot. He moved across the street. As I went up to him, I told him I hope this helps, He just shrugged and couldn’t mutter a thank you. Just as I was leaving, I turned around, and saw the ORIGINAL homeless guy sitting back...
In Burge Dining: “I hate politics. Like… they try to tell you things you need to know. And I’m like… I know what I know, and you can’t tell me otherwise. You know?”
“Iowa has so many Chinese students that like, so, like, when we go to war with China, I can be like, I KNOW HIM DUDE DON’T KILL ME.”
Sorostitute: “Oh. Oh. So what you’re saying is that you don’t want to spend any time with me?” Bro: “YES.”
“No. I have a serious question. It’s serious. What would you say if I told you I hooked up with your sister?” “I’d say you were a douche.” “OK. I did not hook up with your sister.”
Lots of ass
“I talk about ass a lot. Ass! Ass! Ass!”
(Two girls on the sidewalk) Girl 1: I really need to puke. Girl 2: Just puke here and c’mon! We’re late!
There are so many up and down stairs I feel like I’m on Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting range. #overheardondubuquestreet
“Ummm…I’m not sure. I know there’s a club called The Library.” “No, I’m looking for the actual library.”
(On the phone) “That’s not what I’m fucking doing, mom!” #overheardondubuquestreet
“God, why is it that the two guys I’ve been with in my college career have cried on my shoulder more time than I’ve cried on theirs? OVER IT!” #overheardondubuquestreet
“I think I just pooped. Like in my pants.”
“Yeah, in Germany, he got a blowjob right there in the club…I mean, he hadda pay her…”
Girl #1: “She’s a stealth slut.” Girl #2: “That’s the best kind of slut.”
“You can’t do tooooo much coke.”
“It’s got, like, celery. And olives. And beef jerky.” “OMG. It’s like a complete breakfast.”
Woman on phone: “C’mon, just meet me!” (Pause) “You don’t *need underwear!” #overheardonDubuqueStreet